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Domestic violence comes in many different forms, including mental and/or physical abuse. The abuse generally comes from the abuser's desire for power and control.
The following list can help you recognize if you or someone you love is in a dangerous or unhealthy relationship.
Circle the behaviors that apply to the situation. The more items you circle, the more dangerous the situation, and the greater the need to get help.
Verbal Abuse: Name calling, blaming, yelling, making humiliating remarks.
Pressure Tactics:Rushing you to make decisions through "guilt trips"; threatening to withhold money; manipulating children.
Abusing Authority:Always claiming to be right, making decisions for you.
Disrespect:Interrupting; changing the subject, twisting your words, putting you down in front of other people.
Abusing Trust:Lying; withholding information; cheating on you; being overly jealous.
Breaking Promises:Not following through on agreements; refusing to help with the children or the housework.
Emotional Withdrawal:Not expressing feelings; not giving support, attention, or compliments.
Minimizing, Denying and Blaming:Making light of behavior; saying the abuse didn't happen; shifting responsibility for the abuse.
Economic Control:Not letting you work; refusing to give you or taking your money; taking your car keys.
Self-Destructive Behavior: Abusing alcohol or drugs; threatening suicide or other forms of self harm.
Isolation:Making it difficult for you to see friends and family; monitoring your phone calls; telling you where you can or cannot go.
Harassment, Stalking: Making uninvited visits or calls; follows you; checks up on you; embarasses you in public.
Intimidation: Making angry or threatening gestures; use of physical size; driving reckless.
Destruction:Destroying your possessions; punching walls; throwing things.
Threats: Making and/or carrying out threats to hurt you or others.
Sexual Violence: Degrading treatment; using force, threats, or coercion to obtain sex or perform sex acts.
Physical Violence: Being violent to your children, pets or others; slapping, punching, grabbing, kicking, biting, burning, pushing, etc.
Weapons:Use of weapons, keeping weapons around to frighten you.
The above definition and warning signs were adapted from the Harvard PilgrimHealthCare Foundation's pamphlet on Domestic Violence.
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